Bits & Bites #200 - Business: How Do You Handle Negative Emotions?

Sunday 11 March 2018

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Organic Recipe
When we do Shuang Hor, we have more time for ourselves. We have the opportunity to look within ourselves and how we lead our lives. So in that sense, we have "more sufferings". Employees seem to be happier, because they are too busy with work and numb their feelings by occupying themselves with other things.
But do you know that if we don't want to look at the problem, the problem becomes deeper over the years, so we never have real happiness. Being able to look at the problem is actually a good thing, so that we can transcend it. When we identify what is the challenge, then we can look for tools to manage it.


One cannot expect a life of only Day, without Night.
Hence one cannot expect to have only Happiness without Suffering.
We need to acknowledge suffering first before we can have true happiness. If we resist or not accept the suffering, it means we cannot come to terms with it.
Everything depends on which angle we look at it and how we respond to external situation.
If we see it as things not going the way we want and we don't get what we want, then we "suffer".
It's really how we respond that makes all the difference.


When you encounter suffering, appreciate it as an opportunity to grow. Learn to transcend it so you can achieve real freedom.

Some common sufferings include feeling angry (with family, rudeness, accusations, lies, being cheated, betrayal, egoistic people, incompetence, stupidity, being taken for granted), insecure (about the future and feeling not good enough), fear, sadness, regret, loneliness, guilt, anxiety, worry, frustration and jealousy.

Some common ways to handle include keeping yourself busy, meditation, shopping, eating, alcohol, drugs, sleeping, violence or over-analysing the situation.

All these are a form of running away instead of facing the problem. We are not addressing the root cause of the problem. So it is not the right way to handle such negative emotions.

What is the right way to handle?

1) Recognise it. Have the awareness that you are feeling that way. Be very honest and truthful with yourself.

2) Accept it. It is a part of you and you may not be able to control it. Don't judge. There is no good or bad. All these feelings are just concepts. They are just natural human emotions.
Tell yourself "Hello [negative feeling]. I know you are here. I will take care of you."

3) Embrace it. Be gentle and kind to it. Stay with it. Separate yourself, like a mother cuddling a baby (the vulnerable party). When the emotion is very strong, try to locate it. Don't suppress it. It will eventually disappear.

4) Look deeply. Investigate with curiosity why are you feeling like that, but don't get carried away with the excuses. Could it be a conditioning since young? Behaviours that we reject and hate may have unknowingly become a part of us. Don't blame yourself. Don't think; just feel. You may have a lightbulb moment when such emotion started to happen.

5) Non-identification. The negative emotion is not you but transmitted into you because of past events. It is not the original you. It's all conditioning from parents, society etc. The real you is actually Pure, not contaminated with all these. So the next time, the same event happen, you will recognise it's something that's In you, but not you. Over time, this negative energy becomes weaker and weaker and you will gain Real Freedom.

External happiness only makes us happy for a short while. If we don't address the sufferings, they will "bite" us in the future. Never suppress your negative emotion by pretending to be happy and trying to look good all the time, because you will eventually need to pay for it in the future.

KL Seafood
This post is part of a weekly series sharing Bits of mishmash on health, my business and life in general, which I find inspirational, enlightening or enriching. And Bites of delicious food I have enjoyed.

Drop me a mail at if you want more tips on how to successfully achieve your goals. 

Have an awesome day!