13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

Sunday 12 February 2017

Email me at askfuiping@gmail.com if you want more tips on how to be successful.

There're many things we do which we are not consciously aware that we're doing it. Our unhealthy habits are one of them. We need to start becoming more aware so that we can control and mindfully practice healthy habits. Mental strength is like physical strength. The more we practice, the stronger it gets.

Be aware of what we input into our brain. Here are 13 habits that mentally strong people don't do:

1. Waste time feeling sorry for themselves

Don't waste time wallowing in self pity. Victim stories don't create success.
Solution - change your thinking from pity to gratitude. Shift your focus from negative to positive. Don't focus on problems, but look for a way out.

2. Give away their power

When you do that, you will start to feel helpless. You use words like "I have to...", which means you're not free to choose your own action. You're not responsible because you're not able to choose your result.
Solution - take back your power, be proactive, be responsible for your own behaviour, decisions, feelings and values in life. Nobody can hurt you / take away your self-respect without your consent / permission.
You are what you are today because of the choices you made. Want a different result? Change your mindset from:
"There's nothing I can do." to "Let's see what else I can do."
"That's the way I am." to "I can change myself."
"I have to do that." to "I choose to do that."
"I must do this." to "I prefer to do this."

3. Shy away from change

People like to stay in comfort zone. The faster we change, the faster we will be successful.
You could tolerate a discomfort OR you could decide to change.
When you are in the process of change, expect / accept the discomfort that comes with it until you acquire the new habit.

4. Waste energy on things you can't control

Beware of the 3Ws - Waste energy Worrying about Wrong things.
Instead, put your energy on things you can improve and control.

5. Worry about pleasing others

We find it hard to reject people and to say No because we have the fear of making our friends unhappy. But this may end up causing more harm than good. Have the courage to do what is necessary and what is right. Accept and deal with the consequences.

6. Fear taking risks

Fear of taking risks is an emotion. Don't simply rely on this fear. Look at the rational or logic behind it. If the risk is calculated and controlled and it brings you closer to your goals, then go for it. Don't be afraid of obstacles.

7. Dwell on the past

If the situation has already happened, let it go and move forward. If it's something you can't change, there is no point wasting so much energy feeling angry or sad or worrying about it. Take action on something you can make a difference in.

8. Making the same mistakes over and over again

If you don't acknowledge your mistakes, you won't look for solution / improvement.
Mistakes are just proof of you stretching your limits to be a better person.
Check back on your values. Is it what you want?
9. Give up after first failure

Dare to fail. Reflect on what happened. Don't give up just because it's taking longer to achieve what you want. Change your strategy. Approach it in a different way and try again.

10. Resent other people's success

Don't compare yourself with others. If you really want to compare, then compare with your own self.
Sincerely rejoice and be happy for others' success. You won't be able to succeed if you constantly feel insecure or threatened by the success of others because you will then only mingle with people who are worse off than you.
However, if you don't envy people, you will be open to Learn from the person and improve. If you block yourself from being a better person, then you will never progress.

11. Feel the world owes them something

Most of us are actually "takers" rather than "givers". Learn to focus on giving. You will get back in return somehow. Be grateful you can still give.

12. Fear alone time

Some people feel uncomfortable to be alone and they always want to go out and surround themselves with activities.
It is important to spend at least 10 minutes of alone time everyday to do reflection and contemplation. Check back on what you have done today, is it in line with what you want to do, and what will you do tomorrow.

13. Expect immediate results

The bumps you face on route to your goals are minor setbacks. Everything takes time. Be patient. Do the right thing and the results will come.


Everyone can build strong mental muscle. It requires a lot of practice and awareness. But with persistence, it can be done. Don't give up. Persist until you reach your success.

Email me at askfuiping@gmail.com if you want more tips on how to be successful.